Family Planning Post #1: Amber's Story

As I mentioned in my most recent post, my sister-in-law, Amber, and I are working together to do a blog series on family planning issues. She has kicked it off by providing a look into the journey she and my brother traveled with regard to birth control along with some links to some of the articles she found helpful when researching.

Once again, if you're a teen or younger, please make sure you have your parents read the posts in this series first. They will all have the words "Family Planning" in the title. Since these are topics that parents need to be in charge of sharing with their kids, I don't want to get in the way of that. However, if your parents read the entries and feel like it's appropriate for you to read them as a resource, then I'm all for that.

The rest of this is Amber's post (the only thing I changed from what you'll see on her blog is that I listed the article and sermon titles and linked them to the URLs instead of listing the URL directly, mostly because it helps me to know which article I'm clicking on)...

BC Part One:From A Chemical Decision to a Morality Issue
Post by Amber Burger

As of lately, I have had so many people interested in talking to me about Birth Control and why our family chooses to do things the way we do. I have been wanting to write this series of blogs for a long while now, but have waited for the right timing...it tends to be such a sensitive subject. I love talking about this issue because of the incredible impact that it has made on our life and marriage, but I do realize it is not the easiest thing to discuss. It has taken us on a five year journey with the Lord that has lead us to a much deeper love and trust in Him.

I thought that the best way to start this series is to give our personal testimony on the issue and link some of our favorite articles and sermons on the issue. As you read, please know that this is what the Lord has done in our life...seek Him on the issue and He will resolve in your heart what is right for your family. I know it looks long, but please do endure.

OUR STORY
A couple months before Vernon and I got married, I went to my very first OBGYN appointment. At this, I got prescribed 'the pill' so as to regulate my cycle before our wedding day. This was totally not thought through or anything. I just went in because I thought that is "just what you do." For two months I had these episodes of crashing blood-sugar and light headedness. I would go through surges of emotions and just crash into sleep....it was crazy and completely not like me. The second month I went a week with no problems....and then it dawned on me that that was the week I was taking the placebo pill. So I noted that in my mind and continued taking the pill as directed. The next week it got so much worse that I was crashing HARD, virtually passing out...but conscience. One night this episode happened at my aunts house and Vernon came running into the room, I was crying in the midst of my semi-conscieness and somehow I muttered to him that I thought the Pill was causing this. Vernon decided that we should figure out another way of birth control and I agreed. This was only a month away from our wedding night, so this was not far out to be deciding on our future! What we walked through together that last month brought us so close to each other but even more importantly it built our Love and Trust in the Lord. We were faced with the Truth of His word and had to decide if we REALLY believed it. Did we really believe that God had numbered our days and therefore numbered our children's days? Did we believe that God would not give us more than we could handle? Did we believe that He was our ultimate satisfaction, not time with each other before children? Did I really believe that the Scripture calls children an reward/ blessing of the Lord? Did we believe that He was Sovereign over the affairs of man? Or were all of these truths and many more just ideologies we claimed when it made us feel better?

So at that point we concluded that God gave us wisdom and abilities to make decisions but ultimately it was His Sovereign hand that fashioned and formed our family. Now this did not mean just haphazardly going about our intimate life and not paying attention to the situation we were in financially or just assuming we were mature enough for children. It did mean however, that we relinquished control over the size and timing of our family. It meant we asked the Lord to reveal to us His good timing, in whatever way He liked.

So this issue for us started as a chemical issue and then made its way to a Trust issue and a Control issue.

After the Trust issue was resolved I began looking into alternative ways of contraceptive and what I found was astounding. I had no idea that birth control was in anyway a morality issue. I had not idea that OBGYNs are divided across the board on certain birth controls being abortive. Being extremely pro-life and in complete fear of facing the Lord and Him saying we had had a fertilized egg that was not able to implant in the womb because of a chemical I ingested, I immediately began to read anything and listen to anything I could get my hands on....I wanted to know both sides and what each side said in full. And basically my conclusion was to opt to side on the safe side and avoid any potentially abortive birth control methods.

Yes, we did get pregnant three months into our marriage, but it was not a surprise to us, we knew we were probably going to be. Many people who do not do "natural family planning" give it a hard time and tease about how many kids NFP people have. But to them I will say, we are just now pregnant after 3 1/2 years of an awesome intimate marriage...and we knew about this one too. So there are ways to control that are not potentially hazardous to you or your babies....but in the end, God has numbered the days of your sweet children, they are a reward from Him and He will give you the grace to carry them! amen.

THE LINKS
My favorite sermon so far that I have heard on this topic is by Marc Driscoll and here is the link for that: Religion Saves + 9 Other Misconceptions, Question 9: Birth Control

The first link is my over all favorite article but the rest are great as well:
Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? a booklet by Randy Alcorn

Readers' Responses to Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?

Hormone Contraceptives Controversies and Clarifications by the American Association of Pro Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists (AAPLOG)

Birth Control Pill: Abortifacient and Contraceptive by AAPLOG

AAPLOG Response to the ACOG Ethics Committee Opinion #385, Titled "The Limits of Conscientious Refusal in Reproductive Medicine" by AAPLOG

Which Methods Cause Abortion? by Abort 73