More Conversations With Ladan...

Conversation #1

Let me set the story up a bit for you...

When Ladan is being bothered by another child, his tendency is to just scream. We have been trying to teach him how to handle this a little bit better. When one of his friends is pushing or doing something he doesn't appreciate or understand, we instruct him to simply say, "Please don't do that." If the child continues, he is to come tell us or another adult in charge (he is not to hit or push back).

A couple of days ago, we were taking our normal evening walk/jog in the park. Gabe was in the back of the 2-kid stroller, and Ladan was in front. Ladan wanted to recline his seat, causing his bright orange hat to be within arm's reach of his very curious little brother. That said, his hat didn't stay on his head long, and he was quickly moved to shout at his brother, "BABY GABE, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!" It was a little loud, but he was getting the concept. Realizing that when another person touches Ladan's hat it's the equivalent of them taking his underpants or some other terrible offense, and that Gabe (at 11 months of age) probably wasn't going to understand my explanation, I had to come up with a quick solution. They swapped seats.

Now Ladan was sitting in the back, and Gabe was in the front. Of course, this was very difficult for Gabe, because everything that was interesting to him was behind him. He was regularly turning around and laughing at Ladan. Since Ladan's hat was safe, he felt free to enjoy the company of his baby brother. He started to gently tickle Gabe's ears. After a few tickles, it became clear that Gabe no longer enjoyed this type of play. The conversation followed like this...

Me: "Ladan, please don't poke at or tickle your brother. He's not enjoying that."

(He promptly stops and sits back in his seat.)

Ladan: "Mommy, could you please don't do that?"

Me: "Don't do what?"

Ladan: "Could you please don't tell Ladan "stop tickling my broder"?"

Me: "Ladan, Mommy is trying to help you love your brother. When you were tickling him and poking at him, he wasn't enjoying it. I want Baby Gabe to like hanging out with you, so I'm helping you learn how to show him love."

Ladan: "Because I don't know these things."

Me: "Yes."

Ladan: "And you're helping me."

Me: "Yes."

Ladan: "Thanks, Mom."

The ride home was quiet and uneventful, aside from Gabe's near escape from his stroller buckle. That kid is going to be some kind of Houdini, I'm convinced.

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Conversation #2

(Ladan is sitting on the potty, and I'm cleaning the toys out of the tub.)

Ladan: "Hey, Mom?"

Me: "Yes, Ladan?" (If I want him to say "Yes, Mommy" I better set an example and say "Yes, Ladan")

Ladan: "When I had my zookinny (zucchini) in my mouth and kept it there, Daddy dissipwinned (disciplined) me."

Me: "Did he do that because you were refusing to swallow your food?"

Ladan: "Yeah. I didn't chew up my zookinny and swawwow it."

Me: "Daddy didn't want you to choke, huh?" (This has actually happened many times in our home when Ladan keeps his food in his mouth for 30+ minutes refusing to swallow it. He may not be the meanest kid on the block, but he's got an independent streak that cuts to the core.)

Ladan: "Yeah. Daddy didn't want me to choke. He helped me eat my zookinny. Daddy loves me. And teaches me right from wrong. So I don't disobey and choke. On my zookinny."

He said "zookinny" so many times in the course of the conversation, I couldn't help but give him a big squeeze. I love that word! And his expressions were priceless! It was also a huge blessing to hear that the thing he focuses on when he recounts correction is that his daddy loves him and wants to help him.

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Conversation #3

(This is our normal conversation every night when I put Ladan to bed. He sits on my back while we read his Bible story. Then he lays on my back while we pray. Then I tuck him under his covers, give him a kiss on the cheek, and we go through our nightly salutations.)

Me: "Goodnight, my buddy."

Ladan: "Goodnight, my Mommy."

Me: "I love you."

Ladan: "I love you too."

Me: "Sleep good."

Ladan: "Sleep good, Mom."

Me: "See you in the morning."

Ladan: "See you in the warning." (I'll be so sad when he stops saying this.)

What a sweet kid! It's no wonder I generally feel energized for a couple more hours of chores after that!