What Do I Know?

Things have been a bit busy around here. I'm still trying to figure out how to get into any sort of routine with a newborn again and with the addition of homeschooling. I'm exhausted most of the time. I'm struggling to get into a groove of spending regular, meaningful time with the Lord in His Word. Before Claire and homeschooling, I did this in the afternoon when Gabe was napping and Ladan was resting. That time is no longer free. I know that the best thing I can do for myself and my family is to take this time no matter what, but as soon as I think that's going to happen, one of said family members needs my immediate attention to clean up some bodily fluid, make them food, teach them, discipline them, proofread something, pay bills before they're late, etc., etc. So, rather than getting lengthy periods of time in the Word, I have to settle for shorter bits. And I have to realize that while they might not seem as meaningful as what I was getting, it keeps me going. I may only have a little bit of time to sit with the Bible open on my lap, but I can meditate all day long.

So, what have I been meditating on? In our community groups here at Redeemer, we're working through 1 John. What do we see in 1 John? The gospel. God's holiness. A reminder that our joy and our eternity rest on whether or not we believe the gospel and are being transformed to be more like Christ every day. Assurance that if we do know God and believe the gospel, we will be changed, we will have joy, and we will have eternal life. I'm writing it here like it's just that simple, and it is. At the same time, I'm sitting here looking at the words in 1 John with tears in my eyes because it's HUGE! Seriously, do you understand the weight of this? There is JOY and ETERNAL LIFE that comes with knowing God and growing in holiness! There is hell and destruction if we don't know God and grow in holiness. I want to KNOW God. I want to grow in holiness. I need to know what holy looks like.

I keep hearing the song "What Do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road on the radio, and it stirs my heart every single time. Just when I think I know who He is, I get a greater glimpse of who He is, and it brings me down to my knees. Really, what do I know of holy? More than I used to, but in reality, I know nothing. How's that for motivation to stay in the Word no matter what? Even if it's just little bits at a time that I can think about all day. In the event that someone else might be spurred on by this song, I'm posting it here. And if it's been a while since you read the book of 1 John, I'd encourage you to read it again very soon while this is fresh in your mind.