Adoption Conference: April 29-30, 2010

With Haiti’s earthquake drawing global focus to the plight of orphans, Christians from across America and beyond will gather in Minneapolis, MN, for the Christian Alliance for Orphans’ Summit VI on April 29-30, 2010. The objective: to inspire and equip Christians to “care for orphans in their distress” through adoption, foster care and global orphan care ministry rooted in the local church.

What you can look forward to:

• Featured speakers will include national champions of orphan care and adoption, including John Piper, Mary Beth Chapman, Tom Davis, Doug Sauder, Stephanie Fast, Jedd Medefind, and Al Mohler. Compelling voices from the global church will join as well, from Africa to Central America.
• Music will be led by Steven Curtis Chapman, Peder Eide, Desperation Band and other artists.
• More than 50 workshops delivering nuts-and-bolts for adoption, foster care and global orphan programs – designed for both laypersons and leadership.
• Orphan care resources for church ministries, as well as personal orphan care and adoption journeys
• Breakouts will also include 5 “Hague Hour” Credits for Adoptive Families.
• Q&A sessions and networking opportunities with respected adoption, global orphan and foster care organizations and veteran ministry leaders.
• For Christians stirred by the plight of orphans, Summit offers the biggest and best opportunity of the year to learn how to act upon conviction. To learn more and register now, visit the Summit website here.

A taste of breakout topics:

• Haiti and the Local Church: What’s Next?
• Bridging the Great Divide: Building Positive Relationships Between Church Ministries and Government
• Understanding Childhood Development of Overseas Orphans
• A Lifelong Love: Keeping the Gospel at the Center of Orphan Ministry
• Church-Based Orphan Ministry 101
• Fundraising for Orphan Ministry
• Starting in the Right Direction: Helping Pre-Adoptive Couples Make Sound Decisions
• Now What? Helping Children Age Out of Foster Care
• The Financial Challenge of Adoption and How the Local Church Can Respond
• Engaging Church Leadership
• A Child’s Journey Through the Foster Care System
• How Does It Work? Models of Global Orphan Ministry Based in US Churches
• Practical Ideas of Orphan-Focused Events
• Understanding HIV/AIDS and the Orphan
• And many more…

And there’s more! Five sessions will provide pre-adoptive families with needed Hague credits.

• Adoption and Orphans: Becoming a Multicultural/Multiracial Family
• Adoption and Orphans: Attachment and Trauma (Part I and II)
• Adoption and Orphans: Grief and Loss
• Adoption and Orphans: Acclimating to a New Family Member

“American Christians are stirring to the needs of orphans both at home and abroad as never before. What’s thrilling is that even small ministries in local churches can make such significant impact. There are millions of parentless children worldwide, but a single statistic matters more than any other: it only takes one caring adult to make a lifelong difference in the life of an orphan.” - Jedd Medefind, President, Christian Alliance for Orphans

A Noteworthy Week

Monday I took Claire to the doctor. She was 6 months, 9 days old. She weighed in at 12 lbs. 10 oz. She's still a little one!

Monday evening we were able to have Holly over for dinner. Holly is a U of I student who is relatively new to Redeemer, and it was so much fun getting to hang out with her more!

Tuesday Claire got her first tooth. Later that evening she ate her first solid food. She made some of the cutest expressions while she was eating!

Wednesday was a "normal" day, which is noteworthy in itself! The funniest part of the day occurred several moments after my head hit the pillow. I was in that state of semi-consciousness halfway asleep... when suddenly I heard in my head the sound of Claire spitting up! What!?! I started laughing and then hoped I wouldn't wake Chet up. It was pretty hilarious, actually. I couldn't tell if it was funnier that I heard the sound in my head or that I actually recognized what the sound was immediately!

Thursday, we started the day at the Family Center (the homeschool co-op that we joined in the fall). Everyone had a great morning! Ladan's really fun morning quickly turned to "THE WORST DAY EVER" when he found out that his friend, Meghan, wasn't going to be able to come over that night. She had something come up, and it just wasn't going to work out. He was SO DISAPPOINTED. He cried. Several times. And repeated several times that it had become THE WORST DAY EVER.

Quick! Good response needed from his mom! I agreed with him that it was definitely disappointing that Meghan wasn't going to be able to come over and assured him that we would reschedule. He was still pretty upset. Here's how it went:

Me: "Ladan, who created everything?"

Ladan (whispering): "God."

Me: "So who is in charge of everything?"
L: "God."

Me: "WHY did God create everything, and why does He decide to do things?"

L: "For His own glory."

Me: "So why do you imagine that Meghan can't come over today?"

L: "Because it will glorify God."

Me: "That seems strange, doesn't it? That something so disappointing can be glorifying to God. And yet we know that it's true, because He says it is. Let's watch to see if we can see ways that God is glorified because He is working things out this way."

Fast forward a few hours. We had finished the school stuff we needed to do from home. Gabe was napping. Claire had been fed. I needed to run some errands, so I decided to take Ladan out for a night with Mommy. He was able to decide what he wanted to eat. Shockingly, he chose pizza.

We went to Monical's. On the way in, Ladan held the door for an elderly lady, and then she held the other door for us. It was very sweet! We enjoyed our pizza, and then we ran errands. Our final stop was Target where our goal was to find a new backpack for Ladan. I so wish I had taken an mp3 recorder to catch everything that he said throughout the night. It was one of my best nights as his mom, I'm sure. He's getting so big and is so much fun to hang out with. These are some of the things I heard from him in no particular order:

"Mom, do you know who I love? YOU!"

"Mom, when I get to be 19, I'm going to be an adult. And I'm going to be able to drive when I'm 19. [Me: You'll probably be able to drive when you're 16 if the law doesn't change.] Yep, but I'll still be able to drive when I'm 19. And then I'll get married when I'm 21. And I'll have to take care of my wife and kids. I'm working hard at school so I can provide for my wife and kids."

"Mom, what if two of my kids are fighting over... our DOG? I guess I'll have to discipline two of my kids. But I won't want to. But God says I have to, so I guess I'll have to do what he says because I love my kids."

"When I grow up and have a wife and kids, I'm going to have to protect them, Mom. What if there's a coyote coming after my wife with its chompers? I'll have to send my dog out to scare away the coyote. My dog will have to be big enough to scare away the coyote, but it can't be as big as Clifford, because then my family won't be able to fit inside our house with our dog. And if our dog doesn't scare away the coyote, then I'm going to have to FIRE him! That means that I'm going to have to shoot him DEAD! I canNOT let him get to my family and hurt them with his chompers!"

Walking through Michael's, Ladan noticed that there were some baskets that were out of place. He found where they went, and I praised him for helping the employees out by putting the baskets away. He exclaimed, "It wasn't hard to put them away! I did the right thing, Mom! It's FUN to do the right thing!"

Here are several things he said as we walked through Target:

"Mom, LOOK at all these cute dresses for Claire! She would look so CUTE in THAT ONE, Mom!" [We didn't buy any, but it was an act of sheer willpower.]

We looked at a little felt headband that had felt flower petals sticking off of it, and we determined that it would be a fun photo prop for Claire. He said, "We should get it, Mom! But you know what Dad will say. He'll say, 'You guys are CRAZY!'"

"I just really like this place. They have comfy chairs to sit in. They have food. They have clothes. They have fun things to look at. I hope we can come here again."

On the way out of the store, the electronic sensor on his new backpack caused the alarm to go off while he was wearing the backpack. He stopped dead in his tracks and wondered what in the world all that noise was about. I'm glad he didn't freak out. On the way home, I explained to him that the sensor is there because some people steal things, and the sensor allows the store employees to check to be sure that people really bought the backpacks that they're walking out with. I explained, "There are people who take things without paying for them, and the store loses money that way."

His reply: "Oh, Mom. Those people are NOT loving God then. When they take something like that, they are thinking only of themselves. That is NOT good."

"Mom, I'm still a little bit sad that Meghan didn't get to come over, but this was a really great day!"

Agreed. It WAS a great day! And it wasn't over. When we got home, Quinn (another college student that has joined Redeemer recently) was over hanging out with Chet, so we were able to join in the fun as well. We always have fantastic conversation with Quinn and are so excited to see how the Lord is using him to build the kingdom.

The grandmother of one of our friends died earlier in the week, so we made the quick drive up to Chicago on Friday evening for the visitation. The kids did so well! This was their second visitation this month. We have had some fantastic opportunities to talk about what happens when someone dies and to talk to our kids about God's judgment, salvation, the gospel, etc.

Yesterday, Chet had to work at the Y, and Ladan and I had to catch up on a little bit of school that we didn't get done during the week. I got a lot done around the house, and he did a great job with school.

Throughout the week, Gabe and Ladan have been playing so well together! They have these crazy imaginations and just have a blast! It's so much fun to hear them playing together and to hear them figure out how to work together.

Talk about a full week! It was full of blessings, leaving me overwhelmed by the very specific ways that the Lord is caring for all of us!

Does My Child Have ADD?

Many of you know that Gabe is all over the place most of the day. He's a high-energy, highly motivated kid. He's persistent in most things, whether it's disobedience, a new skill he's trying to learn, or asking for something he wants to have or do. He has a hard time sitting still at the dinner table and might get out of his seat four or five or more times when he should be sitting down eating. If I'm talking to him, I might have to remind him three or four or more times to look at me while I'm talking to him. If I ask him to do something, he gets easily distracted and will stop in the middle of carrying out his task to do something else instead.

These and other "indicators" are often determined to be signs of Attention Deficit Disorder. So does he have this disorder? Hmmmm...

After hearing people suggest this a couple of times or hearing them compare Gabe to their children who have already been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, I began to think about this a bit. After weighing it out, here is my conclusion: I do NOT think that Gabe has something called Attention Deficit Disorder, and here is why.

He does focus on things. For example, he'll play with two toys in a sink full of water for HOURS at a time. Often he's just focused on something different than what I want him to be focused on. When he's supposed to be sitting at the table and is getting up four or five or twelve times, he's focused on something else... playing. He doesn't care about eating. He wants to play. He's persistently going after what he's focused on. He's disobeying, sure. He needs consistency in correction and training so that he is able to submit to authority even when he doesn't want to.

It may be irritating, because I want my dinner time to be quiet and relaxing and free of interruptions so that I can talk to Chet or just take a break from parenting. But I don't always get what I want, do I? Just as Gabe isn't getting what he wants (to focus on playing), I don't always get what I want (a dinner time set aside to focus on conversation and relaxation). Just as Gabe is sitting there struggling to focus on his assigned task (eating dinner), I'm struggling to focus on my assigned task (to parent him and train him up in the way he should go). In the end, we BOTH want to be doing something else, and we can both very easily be frustrated by the mandate handed down to us by the "one" in authority. In either case, there is a departure from the Lord's will. We're both sinning, because we want something other than what the Lord has given us.

Do not read this as an excuse for my child's behavior. There are no good excuses for dishonoring God-given authority. I'm simply suggesting that he doesn't need to be medicated into doing what I want him to do. He needs to be trained up to do God's will, which is to submit to rightful authority... which means that we, as his parents, often have to submit to the authority of the Lord who commands us to do the hard, labor-intensive work of focusing on training our children... even when we'd rather be doing something else.

Lessons About Haiti

Many people are buzzing about the 7.0 earthquake that happened in Haiti a couple days ago. The devastation is widespread and tragic. SO MANY PEOPLE have died or are dying right now! I took the opportunity today to teach Ladan a little bit about it. Here's what we did:

I showed him a map of the earth's plates and the various ways that they move against, toward, and away from each other. We talked about the effects of this movement. Then we built a Lincoln Log house on a flat square lego plate, put some people and animals inside, and shook it. The house crumbled on the plate, and then everything fell off. The people were trapped under the rubble, and we couldn't even find the mother. We talked about what that would be like if I were trapped underneath our house and no one could find me. We talked about the poverty that existed in Haiti long before the earthquake and how that impacts their ability to recover.

Then I showed him real pictures on the internet of the people and places in Haiti. He did see piles of bodies, which may be a lot for a five-year-old... but it's real... and it's what five-year-olds there are dealing with. We didn't stare at the images for a long period of time like the kids there are having to do, but he did get a glimpse of what has happened.

We talked about all the kinds of ways that people in Haiti are going to need help, the most important of which is to know and trust the Lord of heaven and earth for their help and salvation. Then we prayed for the people of Haiti. We prayed for the people who are helping them. And we prayed that we would know if there is any way that we can help them.

And now Ladan is sitting in his comfortable, stable home making disgusting sounds with his Flarp. It is yet another reminder to me that one of the biggest dangers we face in America is complacency. We like to think we know what's happening in the world because we get a 30-second report on the evening news. We like to think we know something about poverty because we sometimes have to choose between buying a new accessory or a dinner out... and can't have both at the same time. To put this in perspective, I was listening to a missionary pilot talk on the radio yesterday about how quite a few people in Haiti eat mud just to have something in their empty stomachs. THAT is poverty. And that was BEFORE the earthquake.

May God be merciful to the people of Haiti as they attempt to recover!

For an interesting read, check out the following article by Dr. Albert Mohler: "Does God Hate Haiti?"

And if you're looking for a way to help the people in Haiti, may I recommend that you consider giving to one of the following organizations, who will not only help provide physical aid but will provide the people of Haiti with the Gospel of Jesus:

Baptist Haiti Mission

Samaritan's Purse

Missionary Aviation Fellowship

Compassion International

For His Glory Adoption Outreach

There are many others out there, but these are a few I know about and am convinced will make good use of the funds they receive to help with aid efforts.

2010 Reading List

Update: I added one more at the end of my list. I don't know why, but I forgot to add it when I made the original list.

It's my goal to read the following books in no particular order in 2010. Hopefully I'll be able to read more than this, but I'm being realistic here. Actually, I might be unrealistically hopeful that I'll even get all these read. I'm going to give it my best shot!

1. Idols of the Heart: Learning to Long for God Alone by Elyse Fitzpatrick
2. Look, No Hands by Brian Gault
3. Knowing God by J. I. Packer
4. Desiring God by John Piper
5. The Magician's Nephew by CS Lewis
6. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis
7. The Horse and His Boy by CS Lewis
8. Will Medicine Stop the Pain?: Finding God's Healing for Depression, Anxiety, and Other Troubling Emotions by Dr. Laura Hendrickson and Elyse Fitzpatrick (In case you're wondering, I don't particularly struggle with depression, anxiety and other troubling emotions, but I know SO MANY people who do that I'd like to see if this might possibly be a good book recommendation and am hoping that I'm better equipped to encourage others through their struggles as a result of reading this. And you never know how much reading this might help me deal with any future struggles should they come my way. Always better to be prepared ahead of time, huh?)
9. Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney
10. The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw
11. Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv

Starting School

Well, we started school again on Thursday. Ladan is now working on his 1st grade phonics/reading/handwriting/art program; Saxon 1 Math; his catechism and scripture memory program; and some fun and random science stuff. He's so fast at learning new phonics rules and figuring out new words! He's also great at addition and subtraction and is beginning to learn how to tell time on a "real" clock along with some very basic fractions. I was pretty surprised at how quickly he dove back in after two weeks off. Well, at least with regard to his understanding. He's still a bit distracted by his desire to play, which hopefully he's figuring out ends up stealing his time to actually play with the things he's pining after. Isn't that so true of many adults though? We sit and stare at what we want to be doing, and rather than just getting the mundane stuff over with so we can move on, we sit motionless chewing our fingernails and staring out the window. Well, I don't chew my fingernails, because I think that's gross, but you get the picture. The point is that he's doing great for the most part and just has to get back into structure mode.

One thing that's been really fun is that Ladan has been running up to me giving me totally random HUGE hugs much more often than normal for about a week now. I don't know what it's all about, but I'll take it!

He's learning to make sense out of so many things in the world, and his conclusions are often very observant and entertaining. For example, today he was eating an apple for his snack. He was just walking around the kitchen while I was doing dishes, and he said, "Mom, I really like apples because they're crunchy and sweet. And they have vitamins that are good for my body. But the seeds are NOT the vitamins. They're the part in the middle that we eat around and then throw away so we don't choke!" And a couple weeks ago I told him I needed to dust the television, and he said, "Don't you mean 'undust', Mom?" Well, yes, I guess that does make more sense, doesn't it?

For Christmas, Gabe received a copy of My Giant Sticker Activity Book. I went through this book with Ladan when he was three, and it really got him moving in the direction of paying attention to instructions and learning quite a few basics about spelling, numbers, vocabulary, fine motor skill development, etc. Well, when I started school with Ladan last Thursday, Gabe ran to find his new sticker book because he wanted to "start school" too! And boy, was he serious! He went from A through N in the alphabet section of the book, breaking only to run up and show Chet his "work" every couple pages. I finally had to stop him and tell him we'd do more the next day. He was so excited about it. My favorite part was when he got to the letter M. He said, "That's a letter M! It says 'Mmmmmm'. Marvewous!" I love that my three-year-old boy exclaimed "Marvelous!" all on his own. His great-grandma would be proud. It's one of her favorite words.

Sure enough, on Friday, Gabe went running for his sticker book to start school again. He finished the alphabet and was ready for more when I had to stop him again. Today he did the same thing. I was so disappointed that I couldn't help him with it today because so many things were going on, but I'm going to make it a point to work with him at least 3 times a week. It seems like he may be ready to start Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons this summer. For sure he'll be ready by the fall. I'm so excited that he's so excited! The only two things that can hold his focused attention for longer than 10 minutes are "doing school" and playing in a sink full of water (that still wins by a long shot seeing as how he literally will play in the sink with three toys for 2 hours or more at a time).

Gabe is a drama star! His favorite thing to do when he has the attention of a crowd is to recite the lines from Bambi when Thumper says, "Eating greens is a special treat. It makes long ears and great big feet. But it sure is awful stuff to eat. I made that last part up myself." He says all of this with the appropriate motions and then dives into a recitation of a monologue given by a caterpillar in the Veggie Tales move, Jonah. It's something about how Jonah is going to chase off a band of camel thieves, and in the process, he's going to break the heart of the woman he loves! [Huge gasp!] He has all of the appropriate motions with this as well. It's my goal to get this on video this week before he changes the way he does it. He's such a fun kid!

Claire is still a remarkably happy baby. She still throws up often enough, but it's SO MUCH BETTER than it was! She's very easy-going, which is a lifesaver for all of us. Just tonight, I found Gabe happily slapping her in the face with her new Sophie Giraffe, and she was just sitting there like nothing was going on at all. Thank goodness Sophie is made of very soft and pliable natural rubber, so she wasn't getting pelted in the face with something harmful... but you'd think that she would have at least tipped me off that something was going on. I guess Gabe's cheerful smile was enough to calm any nerves that may have been frazzled by the onslaught. She's starting to laugh every once in a while, and it's so cute! I hope we can get it on video soon.

As far as her motor development goes, she's able to grab and hold onto quite a few things. She definitely knows when she wants something and will go for it. My favorite is when she sees me and reaches out to grab both sides of my face and pulls me toward her so she can give me a big sloppy kiss on the face! She absolutely cannot stand tummy time, and she's content to just lay still on her back for LONG periods of time playing with the same toy or just staring at something, so she's not in any hurry to roll over it doesn't seem. Unless some major shift happens, she's definitely not going to be crawling by six months. And to that I say, "Praise the Lord!" I'm not ready for her to be mobile yet, so I'm fine if she wants to take her sweet time like her oldest brother. Well, actually, a balance between her two brothers would be ideal, but I'll take what I get as long as she's okay. She's starting to get better at holding herself in an upright position in her exersaucer. I still have to pack a little blanket in around her so she doesn't tip over, but she's able to stay up for a minute or two before I have to support her.

I regularly find her laying on her back with her left leg stuck straight out at a 45 degree angle. Random and kind of funny. She loves it when we tickle her feet and will stick her feet out to us when she wants to play. Speaking of her feet, they are some of the cutest little baby feet I have ever seen! They're so dainty! Claire is dainty herself, I guess. I take her in another couple days for a shot visit and a height/weight check, so we'll see how big she is then.

That's a little peek into the recent educational/developmental milestones the kids are making. We are so blessed to have healthy children who are growing and learning new things all the time! I do not take that for granted and realize it could change at any moment. We thank God for every day we have with these little ones! They are amazing! They point us regularly to the grace, mercy, and glory of God. Who else could create such intricate and unique individuals?

My New Favorite Parenting Helper

Can you guess what my new favorite parenting helper is? Yep, it's the microwave timer! I found myself using it twice yesterday for different purposes.

When Gabe has to take a few minutes to collect himself, I have him sit in a chair. The problem is that he REPEATEDLY asks OVER AND OVER AGAIN, "Can I get up, Mom? Can I get up?" He has a high-pitched voice, and while he's cute and all, it can drive a person up the wall quickly. So I set the microwave timer and tell him to listen quietly for the beep, and then he'll know he can get up. It doesn't work perfectly every time, but it's loads better!

The microwave timer is also handy when giving kids choices. For example, I asked Ladan if he wanted to put the silverware away "now or in 5 minutes". Often enough I ask my kids to do things immediately, so when possible, I like to give them some options about the unfolding of their day. It's Ladan's new job to put the silverware away, and he was in the middle of playing, so I gave him a choice between stopping what he was doing immediately to put it away or playing for 5 more minutes before doing his job. He chose to wait 5 more minutes. So I set the timer, and he knew when it beeped that it was time to get to work. It also freed me up from watching the clock and seeming like I was nagging him to stop and do his chore. Nice.