(FYI--I'll be posting backlogged photos here in the next several days... really... unless I go into labor or something, which is HIGHLY unlikely.)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Ladan's 5-Year Photos
Well, I finally took Ladan out tonight to take some 5-year photos. I had to get out some new jeans for him... size 6 (slims cinched in about 6 or 7 buttons on each side of the adjustable waist, of course). He just turned 5, for Pete's sake! He's pretty much a giant and looks to me like he's about 9 in some of these photos. Here are a few.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Decisions, Decisions: Vaccines and Homeschooling
Well, I've had it on the radar to get caught up on photos and thoughts on here... and it hasn't happened yet. But I've had a few requests to write more about what we've decided regarding homeschooling and vaccines, so I'm going for it. I'll have to catch up on the other stuff later.
With regard to vaccines, our basic approach is to do most but not all of them and to do them in a bit of a different order than the normal pediatrician's routine. There are a couple of things that we've considered when approaching this issue:
1) We would prefer not to inject certain ingredients into our children, including cells from the remains of aborted fetuses, animal cells, and large amounts of metals and chemicals that can be harmful.
2) We would like for our children to have an opportunity to let their immune systems work for them when it's not necessarily a huge big deal for them to go through an illness.
3) We want to take care to consider the public health risk involved with NOT choosing certain vaccines, not only for us but for others who are higher risk in the community around us.
Based on these things, we've had to do a good deal of research. One of the most helpful resources we've used is The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert Sears. It's fairly well-balanced and is easy to read, offering a host of additional resources for further research. After a bunch of research over the course of the last couple years, I think we've come up with a plan that leaves us feeling mostly comfortable.
We are planning to use Dr. Sears' adapted list of vaccines as a starting place (the one in his book that still gives the kids all their vaccines but adjusts the schedule of vaccines so as to avoid many harmful side effects). For example, he suggests waiting on the Hep B series (which starts in the hospital at birth for a baby) until age 2 1/2 UNLESS the mother, father or other close family member is a Hep B carrier. He never schedules more than two vaccines at a time, because the normal routine of sometimes four to six vaccines in combination is a whole lot for a kid's system to handle. And he delays some other things until later.
Using this adapted schedule as a base, we will take out the chicken pox vaccine for sure because it was developed from a cell line extracted from an aborted human fetus... and because we don't mind if our kids actually get chicken pox as kids and develop lifelong immunity that way. We will also almost certainly not give any girl we have the HPV vaccine for a variety of reasons.
I struggled with the MMR vaccine because the rubella strain used to manufacture the vaccine was taken from an aborted human fetus (they basically just keep using this cell line as it reproduces in a petri dish somewhere). There are also more chemicals in the vaccine than many others, and there is a long list of side effects. The main public health issue in our area is rubella in that it can cause some major birth defects if a pregnant woman is infected with the virus. While I'm rubella-immune (they do a test when you're pregnant to let you know), there are many people around who are not. In the end, we made a very difficult decision and determined that we'd give the kids the MMR vaccine, reasoning that it is definitely bothersome that the rubella component comes from an aborted fetus which is ridiculously awful but that it would seem even worse if one of our kids was a rubella carrier, passed it on to a pregnant woman, and caused some major birth defects or death to a baby who still has a chance to live. Not easy. I'm praying that the drug manufacturers will find another way to make this vaccine, that's for sure.
One great thing about The Vaccine Book is that Dr. Sears outlines the ingredient list in each vaccine produced by each drug company. For example, if there are two manufacturers of the same vaccine, one might produce the vaccine with animal products and the other might not. One might use more aluminum or formaldehyde than the other. You can know what you want and ask your pediatrician to order the one that is better for your child. This can be VERY helpful information.
So that's the short end of the vaccine discussion.
With regard to homeschooling, first of all, we've decided to go for it! After earning my degree in education and being trained to teach kids according to the "traditional" or "progressive" methods (the most common approaches in most public schools and MANY private schools), I wasn't completely satisfied with the way kids were being taught. After some extra research and investigation over the course of the last 8 years, I've become pretty committed to providing my kids with a classical education if at all possible. Please stop for a second and read the information at the link I provided if you don't know anything about classical education. The end result of classical education is that students can typically think more clearly and critically in a more organized fashion and have better tools for problem-solving later in life than students who are taught according to the methods used in most schools in modern America. In a public school, there may be honors courses designed around a classical model, but they are often still so disconnected from other subjects that the experience of these students is very different from those receiving a completely classical education.
That said, the classical model of education seems to stand out as the way to go. There are no classical schools in our area, so that wasn't even an option. So homeschooling, here we come! After a bunch of research and a lot of talking to more experienced homeschooling parents, we decided on the following curricula for Ladan's kindergarten year:
1) Veritas Press Phonics Museum. Since Ladan already knows how to read, we're doing the K-1 Combo Kit, speeding through the parts of the kindergarten portion that he knows but making sure to stop and work on the things that he hasn't mastered from that portion of the curriculum. And then we'll see how much of the Grade 1 curriculum he gets through by the end of the year. Maybe all of it, maybe not. It's GREAT because it includes a ton of history, art history, and art appreciation right in the content of the reading/handwriting lessons. For example, the letter flashcards show the capital letter, lowercase letter, and a piece of classic artwork to depict something that starts with the letter (i.e. a classic painting of apples for the letter "Aa"). So you get to talk about the piece of art, the time period, the style of art, and the artist if you want... and if you don't do all of that in detail, at least they're being exposed to great art while learning letters.
2) Saxon Math (Grade 1). Apparently, Saxon Math curriculum is designed so that most kids can typically start at a grade level above their official grade level if there are no issues requiring remedial help. I really like the way this curriculum is laid out. It's very easy to get organized and seems like it will be very easy to follow. And there are lots of fun activities using manipulatives that make it VERY exciting for Ladan. He has been asking for weeks when we can do a "real" math lesson!
3) Bible. We'll work through the Catechism and Scripture Memory Program that Ladan started at Clifton Baptist Church when we were still in Louisville (we're using this with our Redeemer Church kids here in Illinois as well), Chet will do some Bible lessons with him, and he'll probably help Ladan start creating a Bible timeline of sorts.
4) Science. We'll do just a few fun, totally random science experiments throughout the school year. For example, right now we're growing butterflies from caterpillars here in our home. We're observing the changes each day and recording them in a science journal. We'll also try to incorporate a few fun field trips throughout the year. Nothing too formal at all this year. We'll add more next year.
So that's the plan. We're not required in our state to school our kids until they're 7 years old, which means that I'm not required to abide by any rules regarding minimum number of days, etc. However, I've decided just to go ahead and do school for the full 176 days that will be required in the future. That way we can all practice getting into a routine while we're only doing a few subjects instead of waiting until we're doing 6 or more subjects and trying to go to school longer all at once.
Chet and I sat down over coffee a couple days ago and reviewed the school calendar I had roughly developed. We determined that we'll start school August 31 with just Bible and math. I'll still be fairly drugged and exhausted after my c-section by that point, but the math curriculum is so well laid out that Chet and I will work on it together with Ladan. That way, if there's ever a time during the school year when I'm struggling to get everything done or if another one of our kids needs more care, Chet will have been introduced to the math curriculum and can teach Ladan his lesson. I'm planning to take over math completely and add in the Phonics Museum curriculum starting September 7 or 8 if possible. This schedule should provide room in the school year for a couple of breaks and still allow us to finish our 176 school days somewhere around the beginning or middle of June.
Until we start the reading curriculum, I'll have Ladan read me a new book at least every other day to keep developing his skills. By the way, he's read at least eight books all by himself to date: The Foot Book, Green Eggs and Ham, Go, Dog. Go!, a few of the readers from his Phonics Museum set, and a couple others that I can't think of off-hand. Thankfully, he has a reading log, so I don't have to remember them all! :) We record the date he read the book, the title, the author, and his favorite part about the book. It's fun to hear what he says is his favorite part! He said his favorite part of Green Eggs and Ham was that "the guy thought he didn't like green eggs and ham, but then he tried something new, and he DID like it!" This has been very helpful for Ladan to consider as he's been asked to try some new things at meals lately. He sometimes thinks he's not going to like something, tries it, determines that he DOES like it... and then lets me know that he ALSO likes green eggs and ham. Who knows about that last part, but at least he's enjoying his reading and finding that it helps him in everyday life!
Hopefully that helps lay out the basics regarding why we're doing what we're doing in at least two areas of life. If anyone has additional ideas, please let us know.
With regard to vaccines, our basic approach is to do most but not all of them and to do them in a bit of a different order than the normal pediatrician's routine. There are a couple of things that we've considered when approaching this issue:
1) We would prefer not to inject certain ingredients into our children, including cells from the remains of aborted fetuses, animal cells, and large amounts of metals and chemicals that can be harmful.
2) We would like for our children to have an opportunity to let their immune systems work for them when it's not necessarily a huge big deal for them to go through an illness.
3) We want to take care to consider the public health risk involved with NOT choosing certain vaccines, not only for us but for others who are higher risk in the community around us.
Based on these things, we've had to do a good deal of research. One of the most helpful resources we've used is The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert Sears. It's fairly well-balanced and is easy to read, offering a host of additional resources for further research. After a bunch of research over the course of the last couple years, I think we've come up with a plan that leaves us feeling mostly comfortable.
We are planning to use Dr. Sears' adapted list of vaccines as a starting place (the one in his book that still gives the kids all their vaccines but adjusts the schedule of vaccines so as to avoid many harmful side effects). For example, he suggests waiting on the Hep B series (which starts in the hospital at birth for a baby) until age 2 1/2 UNLESS the mother, father or other close family member is a Hep B carrier. He never schedules more than two vaccines at a time, because the normal routine of sometimes four to six vaccines in combination is a whole lot for a kid's system to handle. And he delays some other things until later.
Using this adapted schedule as a base, we will take out the chicken pox vaccine for sure because it was developed from a cell line extracted from an aborted human fetus... and because we don't mind if our kids actually get chicken pox as kids and develop lifelong immunity that way. We will also almost certainly not give any girl we have the HPV vaccine for a variety of reasons.
I struggled with the MMR vaccine because the rubella strain used to manufacture the vaccine was taken from an aborted human fetus (they basically just keep using this cell line as it reproduces in a petri dish somewhere). There are also more chemicals in the vaccine than many others, and there is a long list of side effects. The main public health issue in our area is rubella in that it can cause some major birth defects if a pregnant woman is infected with the virus. While I'm rubella-immune (they do a test when you're pregnant to let you know), there are many people around who are not. In the end, we made a very difficult decision and determined that we'd give the kids the MMR vaccine, reasoning that it is definitely bothersome that the rubella component comes from an aborted fetus which is ridiculously awful but that it would seem even worse if one of our kids was a rubella carrier, passed it on to a pregnant woman, and caused some major birth defects or death to a baby who still has a chance to live. Not easy. I'm praying that the drug manufacturers will find another way to make this vaccine, that's for sure.
One great thing about The Vaccine Book is that Dr. Sears outlines the ingredient list in each vaccine produced by each drug company. For example, if there are two manufacturers of the same vaccine, one might produce the vaccine with animal products and the other might not. One might use more aluminum or formaldehyde than the other. You can know what you want and ask your pediatrician to order the one that is better for your child. This can be VERY helpful information.
So that's the short end of the vaccine discussion.
With regard to homeschooling, first of all, we've decided to go for it! After earning my degree in education and being trained to teach kids according to the "traditional" or "progressive" methods (the most common approaches in most public schools and MANY private schools), I wasn't completely satisfied with the way kids were being taught. After some extra research and investigation over the course of the last 8 years, I've become pretty committed to providing my kids with a classical education if at all possible. Please stop for a second and read the information at the link I provided if you don't know anything about classical education. The end result of classical education is that students can typically think more clearly and critically in a more organized fashion and have better tools for problem-solving later in life than students who are taught according to the methods used in most schools in modern America. In a public school, there may be honors courses designed around a classical model, but they are often still so disconnected from other subjects that the experience of these students is very different from those receiving a completely classical education.
That said, the classical model of education seems to stand out as the way to go. There are no classical schools in our area, so that wasn't even an option. So homeschooling, here we come! After a bunch of research and a lot of talking to more experienced homeschooling parents, we decided on the following curricula for Ladan's kindergarten year:
1) Veritas Press Phonics Museum. Since Ladan already knows how to read, we're doing the K-1 Combo Kit, speeding through the parts of the kindergarten portion that he knows but making sure to stop and work on the things that he hasn't mastered from that portion of the curriculum. And then we'll see how much of the Grade 1 curriculum he gets through by the end of the year. Maybe all of it, maybe not. It's GREAT because it includes a ton of history, art history, and art appreciation right in the content of the reading/handwriting lessons. For example, the letter flashcards show the capital letter, lowercase letter, and a piece of classic artwork to depict something that starts with the letter (i.e. a classic painting of apples for the letter "Aa"). So you get to talk about the piece of art, the time period, the style of art, and the artist if you want... and if you don't do all of that in detail, at least they're being exposed to great art while learning letters.
2) Saxon Math (Grade 1). Apparently, Saxon Math curriculum is designed so that most kids can typically start at a grade level above their official grade level if there are no issues requiring remedial help. I really like the way this curriculum is laid out. It's very easy to get organized and seems like it will be very easy to follow. And there are lots of fun activities using manipulatives that make it VERY exciting for Ladan. He has been asking for weeks when we can do a "real" math lesson!
3) Bible. We'll work through the Catechism and Scripture Memory Program that Ladan started at Clifton Baptist Church when we were still in Louisville (we're using this with our Redeemer Church kids here in Illinois as well), Chet will do some Bible lessons with him, and he'll probably help Ladan start creating a Bible timeline of sorts.
4) Science. We'll do just a few fun, totally random science experiments throughout the school year. For example, right now we're growing butterflies from caterpillars here in our home. We're observing the changes each day and recording them in a science journal. We'll also try to incorporate a few fun field trips throughout the year. Nothing too formal at all this year. We'll add more next year.
So that's the plan. We're not required in our state to school our kids until they're 7 years old, which means that I'm not required to abide by any rules regarding minimum number of days, etc. However, I've decided just to go ahead and do school for the full 176 days that will be required in the future. That way we can all practice getting into a routine while we're only doing a few subjects instead of waiting until we're doing 6 or more subjects and trying to go to school longer all at once.
Chet and I sat down over coffee a couple days ago and reviewed the school calendar I had roughly developed. We determined that we'll start school August 31 with just Bible and math. I'll still be fairly drugged and exhausted after my c-section by that point, but the math curriculum is so well laid out that Chet and I will work on it together with Ladan. That way, if there's ever a time during the school year when I'm struggling to get everything done or if another one of our kids needs more care, Chet will have been introduced to the math curriculum and can teach Ladan his lesson. I'm planning to take over math completely and add in the Phonics Museum curriculum starting September 7 or 8 if possible. This schedule should provide room in the school year for a couple of breaks and still allow us to finish our 176 school days somewhere around the beginning or middle of June.
Until we start the reading curriculum, I'll have Ladan read me a new book at least every other day to keep developing his skills. By the way, he's read at least eight books all by himself to date: The Foot Book, Green Eggs and Ham, Go, Dog. Go!, a few of the readers from his Phonics Museum set, and a couple others that I can't think of off-hand. Thankfully, he has a reading log, so I don't have to remember them all! :) We record the date he read the book, the title, the author, and his favorite part about the book. It's fun to hear what he says is his favorite part! He said his favorite part of Green Eggs and Ham was that "the guy thought he didn't like green eggs and ham, but then he tried something new, and he DID like it!" This has been very helpful for Ladan to consider as he's been asked to try some new things at meals lately. He sometimes thinks he's not going to like something, tries it, determines that he DOES like it... and then lets me know that he ALSO likes green eggs and ham. Who knows about that last part, but at least he's enjoying his reading and finding that it helps him in everyday life!
Hopefully that helps lay out the basics regarding why we're doing what we're doing in at least two areas of life. If anyone has additional ideas, please let us know.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Transformation
Today has been an interesting day. We started off the day with no power, so the boys woke up very early due to the fact that their fans weren't blowing in their room and they were really warm. We've been potty training Gabe this week, and he's been getting better and better every day. He woke up with a dry diaper this morning, which was pretty exciting! He had just a couple of little accidents on his way to the potty, but it was just because he didn't make it in time. For the most part, everything has gone in the potty for the past two days. So that was really great!
I think, however, that the early rise left both of the boys feeling a bit cranky. Ladan in particular was talking back quite a bit and just kind of being rude in general. We had several discussions about it throughout the morning. However, by the time early afternoon rolled around, he was NOT responding well to anyone or anything. I asked him to go sit on my bed and wait for me to come talk to him. Chet was in our room working on church stuff (his office area is in our bedroom), so he would be the one to administer correction. But I had to tell him what happened. So I started recounting with Ladan the things I was noticing about the way he was handling situations. He was listening pretty intently.
He then said, "Mom, I want to say, 'Sorry.'" I let him know that he could definitely do that but that he would still have to have discipline. He responded, "But discipline is..." (he usually inserts the word "mean" in this spot). Before he could finish, I interjected that the Bible describes that we will discipline our children if we LOVE them and that it's not mean because we are responsible to God for training Ladan and teaching him. Here's how the rest of our dialogue went.
Ladan: "Because I need to be transformed."
Me: "What do you mean by that?"
Ladan: "I need to be transformed and change from a person who sins against God into a man who loves God and obeys God. So I have to have discipline."
And that's when Chet took over. He called Ladan to his lap, and Ladan went without an argument... almost as if he was somehow seeing the value of what we were saying even though he knew that what was coming wasn't going to be completely enjoyable. They talked for quite a few minutes before and after Ladan received his discipline. I don't know how their discussion went, but at the end of it all, Ladan promptly came down the stairs and gave me a big hug and said he was sorry for disobeying. He said, "I love you, Mom," and then walked over to play with some toys while I prepared our lunch. Back to life as usual.
Both boys are napping now with the hope that they'll wake up ready to interact with the world around them in a more reasonable fashion.
It's so great to hear the things that Ladan is saying these days! And I'm SO THANKFUL we don't have to send him to childcare all day, because it means that we're the ones who get to hear him say all these cool things. What a blessing this time is with our kids! It's hard some days for sure, and it definitely takes discipline on our parts to maintain any form of consistency. But the Lord is faithful to help us.
Just recently, one of our friends said that his dad talks about raising children and says, "We did the best we could. It's not like you guys came with an instruction manual." Our friend's response to that is to be thankful that his parents did their best... but he doesn't agree with the part about the instruction manual. He's right on! What a gift the Word of God is to us as parents!
I think, however, that the early rise left both of the boys feeling a bit cranky. Ladan in particular was talking back quite a bit and just kind of being rude in general. We had several discussions about it throughout the morning. However, by the time early afternoon rolled around, he was NOT responding well to anyone or anything. I asked him to go sit on my bed and wait for me to come talk to him. Chet was in our room working on church stuff (his office area is in our bedroom), so he would be the one to administer correction. But I had to tell him what happened. So I started recounting with Ladan the things I was noticing about the way he was handling situations. He was listening pretty intently.
He then said, "Mom, I want to say, 'Sorry.'" I let him know that he could definitely do that but that he would still have to have discipline. He responded, "But discipline is..." (he usually inserts the word "mean" in this spot). Before he could finish, I interjected that the Bible describes that we will discipline our children if we LOVE them and that it's not mean because we are responsible to God for training Ladan and teaching him. Here's how the rest of our dialogue went.
Ladan: "Because I need to be transformed."
Me: "What do you mean by that?"
Ladan: "I need to be transformed and change from a person who sins against God into a man who loves God and obeys God. So I have to have discipline."
And that's when Chet took over. He called Ladan to his lap, and Ladan went without an argument... almost as if he was somehow seeing the value of what we were saying even though he knew that what was coming wasn't going to be completely enjoyable. They talked for quite a few minutes before and after Ladan received his discipline. I don't know how their discussion went, but at the end of it all, Ladan promptly came down the stairs and gave me a big hug and said he was sorry for disobeying. He said, "I love you, Mom," and then walked over to play with some toys while I prepared our lunch. Back to life as usual.
Both boys are napping now with the hope that they'll wake up ready to interact with the world around them in a more reasonable fashion.
It's so great to hear the things that Ladan is saying these days! And I'm SO THANKFUL we don't have to send him to childcare all day, because it means that we're the ones who get to hear him say all these cool things. What a blessing this time is with our kids! It's hard some days for sure, and it definitely takes discipline on our parts to maintain any form of consistency. But the Lord is faithful to help us.
Just recently, one of our friends said that his dad talks about raising children and says, "We did the best we could. It's not like you guys came with an instruction manual." Our friend's response to that is to be thankful that his parents did their best... but he doesn't agree with the part about the instruction manual. He's right on! What a gift the Word of God is to us as parents!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Happy Birthday to Daniel Bonura!
Ladan was pretty much hilarious tonight! He doesn't always take a nap, but he slept long and hard this afternoon, and as a result, he was SO FUN!
We decided to go ahead and attempt to bunk the boys' beds tonight to see how Gabe responds. My main concern with doing it right as he was learning to stay in his own bed was that it would be even harder for him to obey and that it would possibly be more dangerous for him. He's a daredevil, so I don't think this was overly cautious. Anyway, he's not perfect at staying in his bed all the time, but he's loads better than he was 10 weeks ago. So we went for it.
Ladan is SO EXCITED that he gets to sleep on the top bunk again! He had been sleeping on the top bunk in Louisville for quite a while, and he was ready to get back to it.
Well, after moving the beds around, vacuuming their room, and picking things up, it was pretty warm in there. So we opened the window. The screen from the boys' room had fallen out in a wind storm before we moved in and suffered a small tear in the process. So we haven't put it back up yet. Which means that we very rarely open the window at this point, and it's only for a few minutes while we're in there. This was actually the first time the boys were in the room while the window was open to even notice that they could stick their arms and heads out. Don't worry... we were standing right there.
Ladan had a blast hanging his head out the window. At one point he shouted, "This is fun to have a new home!!!" And then he started giving the "sound your horn" signal (the one you give truck drivers if you want them to sound their horns) and shouting, "Whoo, whoo!" to every car that drove by. And then it got better! Ladan's good friend, Daniel, turned five today. Ladan didn't have a chance to call him to tell him happy birthday, so he decided he'd scream it out the window. He was yelling, "DANIEL BONURA! WHERE ARE YOU? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL BONURA!" Keep in mind that it was about 10pm, and my previously super-shy four-year-old son was hanging his head out the window yelling all of this at the top of his lungs. It was GREAT!
So, happy birthday Daniel! Hope you had a great day!
We decided to go ahead and attempt to bunk the boys' beds tonight to see how Gabe responds. My main concern with doing it right as he was learning to stay in his own bed was that it would be even harder for him to obey and that it would possibly be more dangerous for him. He's a daredevil, so I don't think this was overly cautious. Anyway, he's not perfect at staying in his bed all the time, but he's loads better than he was 10 weeks ago. So we went for it.
Ladan is SO EXCITED that he gets to sleep on the top bunk again! He had been sleeping on the top bunk in Louisville for quite a while, and he was ready to get back to it.
Well, after moving the beds around, vacuuming their room, and picking things up, it was pretty warm in there. So we opened the window. The screen from the boys' room had fallen out in a wind storm before we moved in and suffered a small tear in the process. So we haven't put it back up yet. Which means that we very rarely open the window at this point, and it's only for a few minutes while we're in there. This was actually the first time the boys were in the room while the window was open to even notice that they could stick their arms and heads out. Don't worry... we were standing right there.
Ladan had a blast hanging his head out the window. At one point he shouted, "This is fun to have a new home!!!" And then he started giving the "sound your horn" signal (the one you give truck drivers if you want them to sound their horns) and shouting, "Whoo, whoo!" to every car that drove by. And then it got better! Ladan's good friend, Daniel, turned five today. Ladan didn't have a chance to call him to tell him happy birthday, so he decided he'd scream it out the window. He was yelling, "DANIEL BONURA! WHERE ARE YOU? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL BONURA!" Keep in mind that it was about 10pm, and my previously super-shy four-year-old son was hanging his head out the window yelling all of this at the top of his lungs. It was GREAT!
So, happy birthday Daniel! Hope you had a great day!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Claire Ellise
Below is a copy of an e-mail I sent out to some folks tonight to provide an update on Baby Claire after today's ultrasound. When we had our first ultrasound in mid-April, the only "issue" was that she has an echogenic foci (described below). They were checking today to see if it was gone yet and just to check to see that everything's still in good order otherwise. So here's the update...
I am 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant today. Claire weighs 2 pounds 14 ounces, which is right about average. She has hair on her head (we'll see if she keeps that or if it falls out and refrains from growing back for a year and a half like her brothers' hair). She does still have the echogenic foci, which shows up as a tiny shiny fleck in her heart on the ultrasound. About 1% or less of babies who still have this during the second trimester end up having Down's syndrome, which is really the only possible connected condition to the echogenic foci. So far, there are no other indicators that she has Down's, and the doctor today didn't even mention it. When he said, "Her heart looks good," I asked him if the foci was gone (because I was pretty sure I saw it about 5 different times during the ultrasound). He said, "Oh, well, there is a note here that it's still present, but there's almost no chance that it will turn into anything. We'll just let the pediatrician know, and that's about it." So, of course, we're not making assumptions that she's perfectly healthy with absolutely nothing to think about, but there's really no reason to research anything further at this point. We'll see what happens when she comes out.
There is one other issue to consider.... She probably actually has a greater chance of being born with whiplash than Down's syndrome! Today during the ultrasound, the tech was trying to get a 3-D image of her face, and she kept turning her back on us. I pushed up on my belly from the underside three times, and what we saw on the screen was HILARIOUS! Her head was thrown back and forth three times just like she had just been through a car wreck and they were replaying it in slow motion over and over again. She looked like a crash test dummy! We all cracked up laughing! I wish we had it on video! Praise God for allowing these babies to grow in a safe environment where they're protected from crazy moms! :)
Anyway, she's growing well, everything looks normal (even the echogenic foci is often considered a "normal" condition in that it shows up fairly regularly in healthy babies), there's just the right amount of amniotic fluid in there with her which is a sign of a healthy baby, and she's moving around plenty! At one point, she yawned really big, which was pretty funny. I started thinking though. Isn't it crazy how God designs for babies to develop in this strange fluid, breathing it in, swallowing it, and moving around in it... and if they come out too early, they can't breathe air well and will die? And then, once they're done developing, something happens. They're born, and as soon as they come out, they need to be cleared of all the fluid immediately, because if they're not breathing air, they'll die. In an instant, their means of survival changes to something so completely opposite. It's just wild!
I've included a couple of the ultrasound photos. Her cord was floating in front of her face, so we couldn't get a complete 3-D shot of her face... but there's definitely enough that you can see her pretty well. Keep in mind, of course, that things are a little bit distorted because of the fluid she's living in and because she's still got a lot of skin to grow into, so she's not likely to actually come out with a wrinkled face and droopy cheeks!
I have a whole list of things that I'm wanting to write updates about, but for now I'm going to call it a night. I'm planning to wake up "early" (which for me will be about 7am) to go to a used homeschooling book sale tomorrow. I've identified the curriculum I'd like to use with Ladan this next year, and I'm hoping I can find a good deal on at least a couple of the items. We'll see how it goes!
I am 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant today. Claire weighs 2 pounds 14 ounces, which is right about average. She has hair on her head (we'll see if she keeps that or if it falls out and refrains from growing back for a year and a half like her brothers' hair). She does still have the echogenic foci, which shows up as a tiny shiny fleck in her heart on the ultrasound. About 1% or less of babies who still have this during the second trimester end up having Down's syndrome, which is really the only possible connected condition to the echogenic foci. So far, there are no other indicators that she has Down's, and the doctor today didn't even mention it. When he said, "Her heart looks good," I asked him if the foci was gone (because I was pretty sure I saw it about 5 different times during the ultrasound). He said, "Oh, well, there is a note here that it's still present, but there's almost no chance that it will turn into anything. We'll just let the pediatrician know, and that's about it." So, of course, we're not making assumptions that she's perfectly healthy with absolutely nothing to think about, but there's really no reason to research anything further at this point. We'll see what happens when she comes out.
There is one other issue to consider.... She probably actually has a greater chance of being born with whiplash than Down's syndrome! Today during the ultrasound, the tech was trying to get a 3-D image of her face, and she kept turning her back on us. I pushed up on my belly from the underside three times, and what we saw on the screen was HILARIOUS! Her head was thrown back and forth three times just like she had just been through a car wreck and they were replaying it in slow motion over and over again. She looked like a crash test dummy! We all cracked up laughing! I wish we had it on video! Praise God for allowing these babies to grow in a safe environment where they're protected from crazy moms! :)
Anyway, she's growing well, everything looks normal (even the echogenic foci is often considered a "normal" condition in that it shows up fairly regularly in healthy babies), there's just the right amount of amniotic fluid in there with her which is a sign of a healthy baby, and she's moving around plenty! At one point, she yawned really big, which was pretty funny. I started thinking though. Isn't it crazy how God designs for babies to develop in this strange fluid, breathing it in, swallowing it, and moving around in it... and if they come out too early, they can't breathe air well and will die? And then, once they're done developing, something happens. They're born, and as soon as they come out, they need to be cleared of all the fluid immediately, because if they're not breathing air, they'll die. In an instant, their means of survival changes to something so completely opposite. It's just wild!
I've included a couple of the ultrasound photos. Her cord was floating in front of her face, so we couldn't get a complete 3-D shot of her face... but there's definitely enough that you can see her pretty well. Keep in mind, of course, that things are a little bit distorted because of the fluid she's living in and because she's still got a lot of skin to grow into, so she's not likely to actually come out with a wrinkled face and droopy cheeks!
I have a whole list of things that I'm wanting to write updates about, but for now I'm going to call it a night. I'm planning to wake up "early" (which for me will be about 7am) to go to a used homeschooling book sale tomorrow. I've identified the curriculum I'd like to use with Ladan this next year, and I'm hoping I can find a good deal on at least a couple of the items. We'll see how it goes!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Getting Settled
Well, we made the big move last Friday. Before we left, I was able to have a couple of girls' night outings with some of my best friends, high school age and older. My friend Jessica and I got to pretend we were college students one night when we went to Denny's at 11pm and came home at about 2:30am. Of course, the fact that we were two pregnant ladies sitting in the corner booth probably gave away the fact that we're a little older than 22! :) Ladan and Gabe did get to play with some of their friends a couple of times for extended periods of time during their last week in Louisville. I was very thankful for that as well.
We had SO MANY friends help us pack, load up, and clean in Louisville, and we had plenty of help once we arrived in Champaign-Urbana. Talk about a relief! We rented from the sellers here for a week and closed today. So now we're officially homeowners... or at least the owners of a hefty loan that tells us the home will really be ours when we're finished paying the bank a ridiculous amount of money! As long as the government recognizes us as homeowners when it comes time for tax returns/credits, we'll take it! We're definitely thankful to have this part of the process all finished.
We've met several neighbors, some with kids and some without. There are LOADS of kids in our neighborhood, which will be a great way to find friends for the boys and a great way to meet the adults! The other folks who don't have kids all seem to have pretty great gardens and/or homemade composters, so as I attempt to plant a few things myself and compost yardwaste, I'll have a good reason to talk to them and get lots of tips. There are also people from many different countries and backgrounds living in our neighborhood. For example, Chet met the man who lives across the street. He's from Bangladesh. All of the houses are pretty close together, which makes for easy opportunities to meet people. There's also a small neighborhood park at the end of the block. Chet and the boys met a mom and her two children (9 and 3) the other day at the park. She's in the process of a divorce and is staying with her parents who live a couple blocks down our road. Our neighbor his a strong Christian who works for a mercy ministry in town as a financial advisor for people who are struggling to make ends meet. And the people behind us are a chemistry professor at the university and a lawyer. It's really great to be in a place where there are so many different people! We're excited to see who we run into once spring and summer really start in full force and people are outside even more than they are now!
I was able to get signed up for health insurance and scheduled my ultrasound and doctor appointment. Also this week, we hooked up the internet, started our trash and recycling services, met with some folks, unpacked a lot, took a couple trips to Menard's and other stores to purchase necessary household items, went to church at Twin City Bible Church to visit and see what's it's like (it's one of the churches in town with the largest student populations), talked to some neighbors, let the boys play outside some, and located various necessary businesses/stores around town. Chet applied for jobs at a few places and will hopefully hear more on Monday. We're really praying hard that it will work out for him to get a job at the Starbucks right by campus. We'll let you know more about that when we find out.
We moved Gabe into his big boy bed a couple of days ago. We started with naptime and had a pretty hilarious experience. The boys are sharing a bedroom now, and both have bed tents on top of their beds. We got Gabe all settled into his tent and closed the zippered parts. There is a flap door that is held on with just a couple of velcro strips, so he can get out if he wants to. And of course, he wanted to. He had to be corrected a couple of times for escaping. After about the second or third time, Chet decided to sit in the room with him to see if he was getting up. Since Gabe was in the tent, he had no idea Chet was still in the room. Chet said he popped out through the tent flap, looked up and saw Chet, and DOVE right back in through the tent opening. Of course, he had to be corrected again. At this point, he stayed in his bed, but he kept using his tiny little toes to lift the tent flap just high enough to look out and see if Chet was still there. Can you just imagine his tiny little face with his big eyes peeking out of that? Chet had a hard time not cracking up at him! He's a smart kid, that's for sure. After Chet warned him again not to try getting out again, he finally got it and went to sleep.
I had suspected that we'd deal with this sort of misbehavior from him repeatedly for days on end... but we've only had to correct him just a few times for getting out of his bed. It's been AWESOME! I'm so thankful! Whenever he gets out of his bed, his brother is right there to call for us through the monitor and tell on him. Not that I want to encourage tattling, but in this case, I don't complain when Ladan volunteers the information.
I thought the bed tent would help, but I wasn't sure it would be this great. It helps both the boys not to be distracted by one another while they're trying to go to sleep, and it gives Gabe a boundary, which is very helpful. I think these tents are probably the smartest Christmas gifts we've bought the boys so far! The boys love them, they're practical, and they preserve our parental sanity. Perfect!
At some point during the first or second day here, I overheard Ladan talking to Chet. It went something like this:
At various points he's wanted to move back to Louisville, and then sometimes he really enjoys our new home. When he talks about these things, we try to explain that he'll likely have these different feelings for a little while. He's very anxious for his friends to come to town. He keeps asking when Maddie, Asa, Harper and Addison are coming to our house. He doesn't really understand the timeline very well, and since there is no official timeline for the other families to arrive here, I can't explain it very well either. He's also regularly talking about his other friends from Louisville telling me about things he remembers and things he enjoyed with them. There are some boys his age just a few houses up the street who we met the other day, which will help but won't take the place of his friends.
Honestly, I am so thankful that Ladan misses his friends. A year and a half ago he wasn't super close to his friends and was really just as content to play by himself. I think it's a great sign that he's opening himself up a bit and is loving people around him enough to care when one or the other is not around anymore. It also gives me great confidence that he can meet good friends here.
Finally, our temporary housemate, Kayla, will move in tomorrow. We have her room all cleaned out for her. I have a few other things I'd like to get in order before she gets here, but we'll see how that shakes out. The biggest things are done. We're excited that she's going to be able to stay with us for a while as she transitions as well.
I'm sure I'm missing a million things, but that's always the case. I'll try to upload some photos as soon as I locate the card reader. We have much to be thankful for, particularly for those of you who have helped us in practical/physical ways and for those of you who are praying for us!
We had SO MANY friends help us pack, load up, and clean in Louisville, and we had plenty of help once we arrived in Champaign-Urbana. Talk about a relief! We rented from the sellers here for a week and closed today. So now we're officially homeowners... or at least the owners of a hefty loan that tells us the home will really be ours when we're finished paying the bank a ridiculous amount of money! As long as the government recognizes us as homeowners when it comes time for tax returns/credits, we'll take it! We're definitely thankful to have this part of the process all finished.
We've met several neighbors, some with kids and some without. There are LOADS of kids in our neighborhood, which will be a great way to find friends for the boys and a great way to meet the adults! The other folks who don't have kids all seem to have pretty great gardens and/or homemade composters, so as I attempt to plant a few things myself and compost yardwaste, I'll have a good reason to talk to them and get lots of tips. There are also people from many different countries and backgrounds living in our neighborhood. For example, Chet met the man who lives across the street. He's from Bangladesh. All of the houses are pretty close together, which makes for easy opportunities to meet people. There's also a small neighborhood park at the end of the block. Chet and the boys met a mom and her two children (9 and 3) the other day at the park. She's in the process of a divorce and is staying with her parents who live a couple blocks down our road. Our neighbor his a strong Christian who works for a mercy ministry in town as a financial advisor for people who are struggling to make ends meet. And the people behind us are a chemistry professor at the university and a lawyer. It's really great to be in a place where there are so many different people! We're excited to see who we run into once spring and summer really start in full force and people are outside even more than they are now!
I was able to get signed up for health insurance and scheduled my ultrasound and doctor appointment. Also this week, we hooked up the internet, started our trash and recycling services, met with some folks, unpacked a lot, took a couple trips to Menard's and other stores to purchase necessary household items, went to church at Twin City Bible Church to visit and see what's it's like (it's one of the churches in town with the largest student populations), talked to some neighbors, let the boys play outside some, and located various necessary businesses/stores around town. Chet applied for jobs at a few places and will hopefully hear more on Monday. We're really praying hard that it will work out for him to get a job at the Starbucks right by campus. We'll let you know more about that when we find out.
We moved Gabe into his big boy bed a couple of days ago. We started with naptime and had a pretty hilarious experience. The boys are sharing a bedroom now, and both have bed tents on top of their beds. We got Gabe all settled into his tent and closed the zippered parts. There is a flap door that is held on with just a couple of velcro strips, so he can get out if he wants to. And of course, he wanted to. He had to be corrected a couple of times for escaping. After about the second or third time, Chet decided to sit in the room with him to see if he was getting up. Since Gabe was in the tent, he had no idea Chet was still in the room. Chet said he popped out through the tent flap, looked up and saw Chet, and DOVE right back in through the tent opening. Of course, he had to be corrected again. At this point, he stayed in his bed, but he kept using his tiny little toes to lift the tent flap just high enough to look out and see if Chet was still there. Can you just imagine his tiny little face with his big eyes peeking out of that? Chet had a hard time not cracking up at him! He's a smart kid, that's for sure. After Chet warned him again not to try getting out again, he finally got it and went to sleep.
I had suspected that we'd deal with this sort of misbehavior from him repeatedly for days on end... but we've only had to correct him just a few times for getting out of his bed. It's been AWESOME! I'm so thankful! Whenever he gets out of his bed, his brother is right there to call for us through the monitor and tell on him. Not that I want to encourage tattling, but in this case, I don't complain when Ladan volunteers the information.
I thought the bed tent would help, but I wasn't sure it would be this great. It helps both the boys not to be distracted by one another while they're trying to go to sleep, and it gives Gabe a boundary, which is very helpful. I think these tents are probably the smartest Christmas gifts we've bought the boys so far! The boys love them, they're practical, and they preserve our parental sanity. Perfect!
At some point during the first or second day here, I overheard Ladan talking to Chet. It went something like this:
Ladan: "Dad, this is our house! We get to live here!"
Chet: "That's right, Buddy. This is our house."
Ladan: "We have soft floors here!" (Falls down on the floor on purpose, which he would never do on harder floors for fear of hurting himself) "Look, Dad, we have soft floors!" (Stands up clapping) "I'm clapping because I'm so happy!"
At various points he's wanted to move back to Louisville, and then sometimes he really enjoys our new home. When he talks about these things, we try to explain that he'll likely have these different feelings for a little while. He's very anxious for his friends to come to town. He keeps asking when Maddie, Asa, Harper and Addison are coming to our house. He doesn't really understand the timeline very well, and since there is no official timeline for the other families to arrive here, I can't explain it very well either. He's also regularly talking about his other friends from Louisville telling me about things he remembers and things he enjoyed with them. There are some boys his age just a few houses up the street who we met the other day, which will help but won't take the place of his friends.
Honestly, I am so thankful that Ladan misses his friends. A year and a half ago he wasn't super close to his friends and was really just as content to play by himself. I think it's a great sign that he's opening himself up a bit and is loving people around him enough to care when one or the other is not around anymore. It also gives me great confidence that he can meet good friends here.
Finally, our temporary housemate, Kayla, will move in tomorrow. We have her room all cleaned out for her. I have a few other things I'd like to get in order before she gets here, but we'll see how that shakes out. The biggest things are done. We're excited that she's going to be able to stay with us for a while as she transitions as well.
I'm sure I'm missing a million things, but that's always the case. I'll try to upload some photos as soon as I locate the card reader. We have much to be thankful for, particularly for those of you who have helped us in practical/physical ways and for those of you who are praying for us!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Man vs. Woman -- No One Wins In This Competition
I was just sitting down to take a quick break from packing, and I thought I'd check my e-mail. I get the daily feed from the Desiring God blog, a ministry of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, MN. One of today's entries titled "Over My Dead Body, Son" was written by John Piper. In response to the fact that a girl is going to the MN state wrestling championship for the first time, Piper provides an excellent call to those of us parenting boys (and particularly to the dads of boys) to help our sons think and act in a God-honoring fashion, specifically in the sports arena. After all, it can be a training ground for all of life. Here are a couple of excerpts, but you MUST check out the entire entry here:
"Come on, dads, have some courage. Just say, 'Over my dead body are you going to wrestle a girl.' Of course, they will call you prudish. But everything in you knows better.... Give your sons a bigger nobler vision of what it is to be a man. Men don't fight against women. They fight for women....
... This is not about courageous commitment to equality; it's about wimpy fear of criticism for doing what our hearts know is right.
... we should raise sons to think of themselves as protectors. Tell them they should lay their lives down to protect girls. Help them know that God designed them to grow up to be a picture of Jesus in their marriage. Nurture the instinct of a boy to fight for girls not against them."
For us, this training has started at the toddler stage. The boys are simply not allowed to wrestle or tackle girls. And even when they play football with me, we're helping them learn the difference between playing gently with Mommy and getting to go all out with Daddy. When we wrestle or tackle, they know they need to be gentle because I'm a girl... and because they're protecting the tiny baby growing inside me. And even then, we tell them over and over again that they cannot for any reason tackle or wrestle with another girl. Hopefully it sticks.
When I was in high school, there was a girl wrestler at one of the other schools in our district... and she was really good! I can't remember if she made it state, but she made it very far, that's for sure. Piper is definitely right to talk about how we can train our boys to care for and protect girls, but as a female myself, I think there is also something to our role in not trying to defeat the men around us. Talk about setting these guys up for total humiliation! Any guy who got beat by this girl was completely embarrassed to even walk through the halls of his school.
As women, there will be plenty of "manly" things at which we may excel... but it doesn't mean that we have to exercise all of those gifts in a competitive way. After all, if we do this, we're in danger of squashing the God-given desire of the men around us to love and cherish us, to honor and protect us. OF COURSE this does not mean that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves sometimes or that we have nothing to contribute to the world around us or that we can NEVER play a game of basketball or soccer against men/boys.
However, there is a certain way to handle ourselves as we enjoy these activities without crushing the men around us. For example, before my c-sections, I used to be able to hold Chet in my arms (under his back and legs) and swing him in circles. I could have flung him across the room I guess, but that wasn't the point. It was just fun, and we both thought it was fairly hilarious seeing as how he was at least 80 pounds heavier and 7 inches taller than me. I would have crossed the line if I had swung him around, flopped him down on the ground, pinned him to the floor, stood over him shouting in victory, and then told all my friends and the newspaper about how weak my husband was compared to me. Visualizing that picture makes me laugh in one sense because it's so ridiculous. But in reality, if I was actually capable of doing this and really carried it through with a heart to defeat this man, can you imagine what that would do to destroy our relationship and his ability to adopt his God-given role as leader of our home?
I definitely think it is fair to say that a woman should never try to wrestle or box or otherwise beat up a man with a heart of competition in any situation outside of protecting herself against an attacker. So, parents of girls, I guess that's my encouragement to you. Don't let your daughters manhandle the guys around them. Help them learn to respect and honor men, and help them learn to receive love and care from the men around them. This is honoring to the God who created us, and it is a real picture of the interaction between Christ and His bride, the church.
Now, back to packing!
"Come on, dads, have some courage. Just say, 'Over my dead body are you going to wrestle a girl.' Of course, they will call you prudish. But everything in you knows better.... Give your sons a bigger nobler vision of what it is to be a man. Men don't fight against women. They fight for women....
... This is not about courageous commitment to equality; it's about wimpy fear of criticism for doing what our hearts know is right.
... we should raise sons to think of themselves as protectors. Tell them they should lay their lives down to protect girls. Help them know that God designed them to grow up to be a picture of Jesus in their marriage. Nurture the instinct of a boy to fight for girls not against them."
For us, this training has started at the toddler stage. The boys are simply not allowed to wrestle or tackle girls. And even when they play football with me, we're helping them learn the difference between playing gently with Mommy and getting to go all out with Daddy. When we wrestle or tackle, they know they need to be gentle because I'm a girl... and because they're protecting the tiny baby growing inside me. And even then, we tell them over and over again that they cannot for any reason tackle or wrestle with another girl. Hopefully it sticks.
When I was in high school, there was a girl wrestler at one of the other schools in our district... and she was really good! I can't remember if she made it state, but she made it very far, that's for sure. Piper is definitely right to talk about how we can train our boys to care for and protect girls, but as a female myself, I think there is also something to our role in not trying to defeat the men around us. Talk about setting these guys up for total humiliation! Any guy who got beat by this girl was completely embarrassed to even walk through the halls of his school.
As women, there will be plenty of "manly" things at which we may excel... but it doesn't mean that we have to exercise all of those gifts in a competitive way. After all, if we do this, we're in danger of squashing the God-given desire of the men around us to love and cherish us, to honor and protect us. OF COURSE this does not mean that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves sometimes or that we have nothing to contribute to the world around us or that we can NEVER play a game of basketball or soccer against men/boys.
However, there is a certain way to handle ourselves as we enjoy these activities without crushing the men around us. For example, before my c-sections, I used to be able to hold Chet in my arms (under his back and legs) and swing him in circles. I could have flung him across the room I guess, but that wasn't the point. It was just fun, and we both thought it was fairly hilarious seeing as how he was at least 80 pounds heavier and 7 inches taller than me. I would have crossed the line if I had swung him around, flopped him down on the ground, pinned him to the floor, stood over him shouting in victory, and then told all my friends and the newspaper about how weak my husband was compared to me. Visualizing that picture makes me laugh in one sense because it's so ridiculous. But in reality, if I was actually capable of doing this and really carried it through with a heart to defeat this man, can you imagine what that would do to destroy our relationship and his ability to adopt his God-given role as leader of our home?
I definitely think it is fair to say that a woman should never try to wrestle or box or otherwise beat up a man with a heart of competition in any situation outside of protecting herself against an attacker. So, parents of girls, I guess that's my encouragement to you. Don't let your daughters manhandle the guys around them. Help them learn to respect and honor men, and help them learn to receive love and care from the men around them. This is honoring to the God who created us, and it is a real picture of the interaction between Christ and His bride, the church.
Now, back to packing!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)